Action hero.

Let me tell you why I should have been Lara Croft:

In the early '90s, I worked in a convenient store. It was a dull evening, and I was just stocking some shelves, minding my own business. This young man walked up to the counter and asked if I could change his 1000 kroner bill to 100 kroner bills. "Sure", I said, opening the till and counting up 10 100 kroner bills. He was going through his pockets, looking for his 1000 kroner bill. Or so I thought. All of a sudden he reached over the counter and grabbed the money out of my hands. Hey! WAIT A MINUTE! Did he just take that money? NOBODY ROBS ME!!!!

The evening was about to turn to anything but dull. I ran after him, only to find out that that weasel had parked his car right outside the door. I tried opening the car door, which, of course was locked. Not really thinking, just knowing that I was not about to let him get away and just acting on my action instincts, I threw myself on the hood. So there I was, staring my enemy in the eyes. I put on my meanest face and hoped that my boss would come to my rescue soon.

The weasel was detirmened to get rid of me, though, so he started driving. Screeching tires and all. At this point my only thought was "how I can stay on this hood while the car is moving?" Windshield wipers, of course. Who would have thought they could be used as handles? Just a minor problem. The driver is able to turn them on. And so the weasel did. I had no other choice but to let go, and fell off the hood. SHOOT! He was getting away! At least I could get the license plate number.... or not. He had them covered. So, he got away.

You may ask yourself if it was worth it over 1000 kroner (about $200). My boss told me sternly it was not. All I can say is that I don't like being robbed.

A few years later, while working in a book store, I attended a "safety awareness" class. At the conclusion of the class, my boss told us to never put our own lives at risk. If he only knew.

So, this is why I should have been Lara Croft. I wouldn't have cost nearly as much as Angelina Jolie. And I would have performed 100 % of the stunts myself, as opposed to Angelina's 80 %.