Tackling obstacles.

I'm not a football fan. To eliminate any confusion: I'm talking about American Football. If you say football in Europe, everyone assumes you are, of course, referring to "soccer". (The word "soccer" is taboo on this continent.)

Anywho, like I said, I'm not a football fan. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the sport, I just don't understand why anyone could enjoy such a slow moving game. Having said that, I firmly believe there is one particular skill football players have developed that I would like to develop myself. I am in desperate need of learning how to properly tackle someone. It's a skill I would be able to apply every day on my way to and from work. Let me tell you why.

I use public transportation every day. It's a lot easier than driving: I don't have to worry about parking, which is a constant nightmare, and most importantly, I don't have to go through the agony of being stuck in traffic and having my blood pressure rise sky high.

However, using public transportation is not a flawless adventure by any means. I will tell you the most irritating part of it. It's not the late buses or incompotent bus drivers. It's not the defect buses that still roam the roads even though they should have been removed centuries ago. It's some of the other passengers.

The bus passengers cut in line. I could be standing in line to get on the bus minding my own business, and another passenger will just walk past me and get in line right in front of me. It's not like the bus will leave until everyone is on.

However, I can deal with the bus passengers. The subway passengers, though, is a different issue. This never fails: I'm on the subway approaching my stop. As the subway comes to a stop, herds of people waiting on the platform will flock right outside the doors, making it impossible for anyone on the subway to get off. They try to push their way past the people getting off and it gets quite chaotic. (I'm not sure if they're rude or just plain stupid. Maybe both?)

This is where my tackling skills would come in handy. Since I know nothing about tackling, I searched the web for some tips. I've slightly modified the methods to fit my specific needs:

Step 1. Identify your oponent. This will be the individual pushing furiosly towards the subway doors.
Step 2. Run toward your oponent at full speed, keeping your head up at all times. Aim your face at the center of his chest or inside shoulder.
Step 3. Run through your oponent, wrapping your arms around his waist.
Step 4. Pull your oponent into you and drive him to the ground.
Step 5. If you get up first after a successful tackle, offer a hand to help your opponent up and give an encouraging pat or slap as you run off to your final destination. This shows good sportsmanship and preserves the spirit of public transportation after an extremely aggressive act.

I will get right on it!